Day 11

Let me start by saying Thank you to all of the service men and women who have fought for our country. You are greatly appreciated, loved, and respected. I watched one of my favorite people, someone super important to my family, graduate on Saturday morning as a 2nd Lieutenant in the Army. He will be leaving in a week for active duty and it makes me realize how quickly time flies and life moves forward, whether you want it to or not. I am in awe of the men that he and my brother have grown in to. Not ashamed that I cried during the ceremony. Even more special was that my grandfather was the NCO who gave him his first salute. Wow. Such a beautiful tradition. After the ceremony I got to spend time with my favorite kid and was just in awe (again) in how much he has grown in all facets of his life. He is truly a sweet guy and will forever hold a special place in my heart. Both of them will.  

Ok...Superbed. Yes! It is super and it is a bed. Since one of my roommates moved out and took her furniture, we do not have anything in our living room. So on Saturday night, Chelsea and I moved our mattresses out into the living room and created a superbed! We then had a party, small but fun, and watched movies all night long while drinking and laughing. Neither of us can take credit for the amazingness that was this idea; no the credit and applause has to go to her brother. Who, by the way, can cook a delicious burger and OMG his guac is probably the best I have ever had (no joke...the heat from the cayenne was perfect). Not ashamed that I ate some with my breakfast this morning. Anyways....Superbed was a phenomenal idea! There were times that I was laughing into my pillow so hard that my sides were hurting. You know that laughter, the silent, body shaking, uncontrollable laughter that makes you gasp for breath. It was such a great night. Not going to lie, it amazes me that I could know and spend vast amounts of time with such neat and great people. Their kindness and compassion makes me strive to be a better person.

Well, superbed lasted into the midafternoon on Sunday and then continued again that night (that was when we had the burgers and guac) however it did not end how I had hoped. I had thought that there would be laughter and fun similar, or better, to the night before. Instead there was angst, crankiness, snapping and tears. Yes, there were tears. However, I can take the blame for that; I was overly tired and I don't take well to being snapped at. I own that but I am still sad that the party ended how it did. There was a weird vibe here last night that I cannot explain. Spencer, Chelsea's boyfriend, did a pretty good job trying but I am still left confused. Somehow I did or said something that set off one of our guests and he left. Drunken me did try to say something to him, fix it if possible, but I am fairly certain that it made it more awkward. This is the time where I runaway from it. Hide from the awkwardness and wait for it to either dissipate or until I move on. It is cowardly, I know.

So today's lesson is Growth. Growth in all areas of life, both physically and emotionally. That means no hiding and burying my head in the sand. That means I actually have to deal with my own angst and fear, for lack of a better word, instead of running from it. That is true for this journey I am on of self discovery (and running a 5k); I need to step up and really take this more seriously. Yesterday afternoon, I met up with a good friend and he worked with me on some tips for running. A lot of them I had learned through CrossFit but he showed me some techniques to help prevent unnecessary strain on my joints and limbs. We went for a small but rewarding hike with Daisy and solved the world's problems. Well at least my world's problems haha  I know that I still have a long way to go before I am ready for the 5k but everyday I am feeling more confident and learning new things. One thing I need to learn is patience. Not my strong suit -_-